Blog On, I guess

 Here's what I started with. Ugh. I don't know. I suppose I'll keep it up somehow. 

I'm actually something new and fully believe that. It's because of something that will take a long time to describe. I've considered writing a book, and perhaps will someday. For now, though, it's more appropriate to express myself like this, because I've clearly had a lot of weird words coming out of these hands.

I feel like I've been ignoring a gift. Maybe it's been due to lack of effort, maybe it's because of my environment. Who knows? I think I do, and that's something that will need to be described in order to be understood. It's my personal truth, though; or at least this is what I intend for it to be.

I anticipate a period of solitude approaching, and of potential abandonment from a part of my life that I desperately need, and that could be everything and everyone except the ones I'm not used to. I'm OK now, I've learned to appreciate things like music, plants, Bibles (yes, Big B Bibles, through wise discernment,) and other trappings of human love. The most important love was the love we are due God, and only after trusting that did God finally gave me permission to do it. He also returned some back to me, which is always sufficient.

There are periods in a man's life where he sheds folly for favor. We think we have won then, because we have material success. By that I mean that you're looking at a fully mature, decidedly grateful and apparently unwounded person, at least as not as some, and then to degrees of severity.

The defining Truth though, the one thing to come out of this experience, has been a nearly full awareness of my potential to love God, which is a lot, apparently. However, He always tells us to pursue, because, duh. Who are we? Sheep? LOL. Uh, yeah? And we're safest when we stay still, which is where I am right now. What I have sought in sure contemporary safety was returned with terror. Instead, unfortunately and, thank God now, By His Glory through this precious yet temporal vessel, was a new me who loved God truly for the first time through trust.

So I'm going to try to start another one of these things. But with "prayer, supplication," and a little effortless grit from certain intercessors, and One Specific One, maybe things will occur that will cause this to continue to occur. But I truly believe, with everything I've been Graced with, that this change has happened only, and by only I mean without exclusivity, and with all inclusivity, the same Will of God we all know exists. 

If I only prove that God, Jesus and True Divinely Crafted and Inspired Spirit, which we have been Allotted, exists as One, and that belief in that is actually pretty easy to do, maybe that's the only reason I'll have done this. 

You know what happens with a mustard seed after all, right?

Heh. I think I found a way to find a sort of Fourth Sunset you could also call Heaven on Earth, and it involves a "Jack of All Trades" sort of approach to a sort of paradigm construction. What is a Jack of all Trades? A know it all. The smart guy who everyone thinks is too smart, sometimes. Also fair to say, would be that some people experience trauma at opportunistic moments. Those moments, I believe, lead to the experiences I have endured. The enduring theme has been a new sense of self-purpose, and is to create, experience and give back as much love as we're allotted. It all belongs to One Eternal and Infallibly HOLY GOD.

So. Here we go.